Coaching with Sasha
Do you want more? I’ll help you create a life where you’re not settling. Step by step.
My coaching goes deep while also guiding you toward real change.
What brings you to coaching?
Maybe you have been in therapy off and on for years; or maybe not. Therapy can be incredibly helpful in helping you to understand the way your family and your past has created certain patterns in your behavior and beliefs. Many clients tell me therapy was less helpful in guiding them toward changing current and future behavior and reaching goals. My coaching programs go deep but are also practical and action-oriented, grounded in the real world of your life.
We will always be forward-looking: looking at your goals, the life you want to create and the kind of woman/man you want to be.
We will also look at whatever’s been blocking you, because if it was so easy to get where you wanted to go (to let go of that romantic obsession, write that book, or whatever it is you want to focus on) you would have done it already.
I help you get there step by step with a whole lot of baby steps that will over time add up to big changes. You will be learning new skills and making tangible progress.
When we work together, everything will depend on you and your focus because each program is custom-tailored for you.
Here are some examples of different things clients have focused on with me:
- Reconnect to your goals and create a vision for your life to motivate you on a daily basis
- Let go of a romantic obsession (RO), as I call it in Quirkyalone
- Cultivate self-love and acceptance for exactly where you are in life
- Identify career and creative goals at any age
- Be OK with being single and shed patterns of codependency so you can have a healthier, more “quirkytogether” relationship
- Develop conscious leadership at work
- Pivoting your business
- Discover comfort, a sense of ease being in your own skin and greater confidence—and especially reconnection to your sensuality
- Get your mojo (life force) back if you are giving it all to work
- Rebuilding of your self-image if it’s taken a hit in feeling inadequate
- Jumpstarting a new book, or pursuit
- Learn about using sexual energy alone or to connect more deeply with a partner, practice speaking up in sex, and/or overcome vaginismus
My approach is more gentle than tough love, but you will be held accountable too
My approach is gentle, supportive and encouraging, definitely not “tough love.” While many therapists work with diagnostic codes of What’s Wrong With You, and offer methods (or modalities) to fix what’s wrong, my years of experience as a coach and guide shows me that mostly my clients need a place to speak about things that are difficult or shameful–for those things to be witnessed with love and sensitivity.
For this reason people who resonate with my “quirkyalone” concept find a safe harbor coaching with me. Some clients have told me they felt judged by other therapists because their path in life was different. This process of opening up within a relationship of genuine safety and trust is deeply transformative.
At the same time my coaching program is also creative and action-oriented. I also challenge you on inconsistencies, point out blind spots, and hold you accountable to keep you on track between our sessions.
My coaching goes deep but it will also take you out into the world. I’m a lifelong writer, entrepreneur, solo traveler, and outside-the-box person myself, so I draw on my diverse business, writing/publishing and personal growth background to help clients navigate all aspects of life, from the job negotiation in the boardroom to sexual communication in the bedroom.
Between the sessions you will be trying new things out.
When you work with me, you will get:
- Support to take risks to find out what really lights you up
- Personalized guidance from a woman who knows what it’s like to be unconventional both in personality, career, life goals, etc.
- An author who has published books with New York publishing houses; many clients are also writers so I’m able to coach you on the writing part of your life
- A former Silicon Valley executive who has run numerous businesses. That’s why it’s so fun to able to be a sounding board for my business clients.
- The perspective of an American who has lived outside the US for years. I can help you identify how attitudes and behaviors that are making you unhappy may be cultural. Becoming aware of ingrained attitudes can help you live life on your own terms.
My coach training comes from CTI, the largest coach-training institute in the world.
I work mostly with individuals, but also sometimes with couples and in corporate leadership.
Clarity, focus and a map of how to get it all done
- In most cases, we talk 2x a month. Our sessions are 50 minutes to an hour. We talk via Skype or phone. You can do this work from the comfort of your own home.
- Design of your playwork to keep you moving between sessions.
- Support over email between our sessions too which helps you to deeper faster.
- Resources tailored for you, whether that’s about something like overcoming vaginismus, dating again, writing, or leadership at work.
- Typically I tell clients that we work together for at least 3 months, because that’s the minimum amount of time I see for clients to make lasting change.
Between the sessions you will have “playwork” that we co-create to forward whatever we have been talking about in our session. You’ll not only be talking about what distresses you. You’ll be on an educational, personally supported path as you learn new skills and ways of being.
Writing, list-making, and reflection is key. The writing exercises that I’ll tailor personally for you and the topics we are exploring help to make our sessions more powerful. The playwork you do between sessions will be an accelerator for the coaching.
Your playwork will be totally unique to you and your situation. Here are some examples from past clients:
- co-creating a daily morning goddess ritual that honors your body
- writing your self-marriage vows (I’m also an expert on self-marriage. You don’t have to wear a white wedding dress!)
- writing an angry letter (you don’t have to send it)
- trying out pussywalking!
- learning and trying out Nonviolent Communication
- challenging limiting beliefs using Byron Katie’s “The Work”
- rewriting a dating profile to get clear on what you really want
- going to a bar alone and reporting on what happens
- researching a company
- writing a letter to move on in a break-up
- drafting a website for a new business
Who are your typical clients?
Most of my clients are women. I do work with sensitive, self-aware men, too. Those are the adjectives I use to describe the men.
My clients typically range in ages from late twenties to sixties or seventies.
My clients work everywhere from libraries to Wall Street, freelance brand directors to journalists and engineers. Many of them are writers too. Though I don’t call myself a writing coach, my 20 years of experience in writing and publishing helps clients who are embarking on writing projects.
My clients tend to be free thinkers who identify with challenging assumptions and they want to live their most thoughtful, best lives single or partnered.
One nice thing about working via Skype means you can be anywhere. My clients live in South America, North America, Europe and Australia. Our biggest challenge is keeping time zones straight.
How is this different than therapy?
Fundamentally, therapy focuses on self-understanding. Therapy may be the right choice if you are dealing with significant mental health issues or want to look deeply at childhood issues that have shaped you
Coaching always asks the question, “What do you want in your life?” We can look at the past–and even childhood–to see what messages you have absorbed have limited you, and then actively work to shift those messages and beliefs. Coaching with me will help you look at the story of your life differently, and we are always looking toward the future to what you want to create.
Many clients have told me they found therapy to be a lot of talking about what distressed them without addressing actions to make changes. Coaching will have a focus on your path forward.
My process is educational and inspirational as well as practical and concrete, so will come out learning tools to serve you your entire life.
Do you give advice?
Sometimes it feels right to give a magic little touch of advice or share something from my own experience when I know it’s just what you need. I’m not afraid to share with you anecdotes or wisdom from my own life. I know clients are curious to hear about my experiences.
In general, I feel in myself a lack of resonance when I’ve been talking too much. What clients most appreciate is a question that opens up a new doorway for you. I will share lots of resources with you that are tailored for you and your needs. But most of the time I stay away from giving you advice, because I know you have the answers inside you. My job is to help pry them out.
The most powerful piece of advice I would give is something a Jungian therapist gave told me, which is basically that you cannot tell anyone what to do with their lives. It doesn’t work That’s why coaching is a process of asking questions and grounding your answers for your life in you own authority — in the way you think, express, and feel things.
Prepare to be asked many good questions and discover new sides of yourself that have been laying dormant or that you never knew. You’ve got this inside you.
Where are you? What if I don’t live near you?
I split my time between my native Rhode Island and Buenos Aires, Argentina. My clients live all over the world: Argentina, US, Europe, Australia. I see my clients over Skype/phone. So you will have the convenience of working with me right from your home, no commute required through the magic of the Internet.
What's the first step to explore working with you?
If you’re curious about working with me, the first step is to fill out the form on this page and tell me more about you and what you want to explore or achieve through coaching. As long as I believe there’s a 90% chance I can help you, we’ll set up a time for a free 20-minute consultation on the phone to get to know each other and see if we are a good fit to work together.
Does the COVID-19 pandemic affect our coaching work in any way?
Not really because we will be working remotely via phone, Whatsapp or Skype. If dating is part of our work, then, you might be going on video dates rather than real-life ones. Otherwise our work is unaffected because you get to work from home. Right now can be a good time for inner work because all our distractions are stripped away. Coaching can be a meaningful way to use this extra time.
I’m the author of the cult favorite book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins, 2004), a groundbreaking book putting a new twist on being a discerning single that got attention in the New York Times, NPR, and CNN. I also wrote To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster, 2007).
A native Rhode Islander, I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 20 years. After cofounding a street fashion social network StyleMob and selling it to Glam Media after 9 months, I took off for Brazil, then Colombia, then Argentina to study tango. I wound up living in Buenos Aires five years. South America is the backdrop for the memoir I’m currently finishing up, Wet. This book will be a much more personal follow-up to Quirkyalone.
As of March 2020 I’m back in New England where I’m work with my clients via Skype and finishing up this latest book. So much of a positive and productive coaching relationship is about fit and understanding–so if you feel like we could be a match then reach out for a consult.
- (Sliding scale)
- Unblocking fears
- Supported action for real change
- Sounding board for:
Life + Biz/Exec
- We talk about all of it:
Watch these videos to get to know me and my work.
I first contacted Sasha because I was trying to get over a broken heart… but that was just the tip of the iceberg. I was struggling with work, dating, amongst other things. Sasha helped me put everything in perspective. I was really impressed with how Sasha made me think about my life goals. I was amazed to see how important it is to simply articulate a goal and think about the steps that I need to take to achieve that goal. I committed to actually following through. Sasha is really fantastic, I can’t recommend her enough!
I decided to work with Sasha when I ended my last relationship, and was trying to find a better way to be alone again free of codependency. I have worked with a number of coaches, but Sasha is at the top my list. I love Sasha’s “Quirkyalone” and “Wet” constructs– her approach is distinctive, modern, passionate. She is intuitive, funny, and wise beyond her years. Sasha has developed a unique, bold, and finely tuned blend of psycho-spiritual, intellectual, physical and cultural coaching–-and she assigns just the right amount of “playwork” to keep you processing and exploring between sessions. Sasha cares about her clients deeply. She is responsive, and best of all, the objectives you choose to achieve are met—and in my case—exceeded.
As a quirkyalone and someone in need of a little life coaching, I figured Sasha might be the perfect life coach, and she was! She “got” me from the start and as our time went on I was impressed with how well she knew me. I didn’t feel like just another client. Sasha is a great listener and gives down-to-earth, applicable, and insightful feedback. She guides each session naturally and has great instincts in how she reacts and poses follow-up questions. Our sessions were relaxed and fun too. We made significant progress on my goals and I now have a new set of thought patterns and approaches to move forward and make continued positive changes in my life. I highly recommend her!
Working with Sasha has been instrumental in huge changes in my life. It has helped me define who I am and what I want. It helped me leave a job and find a new one, helped me have a wonderful long-distance relationship and helped me feel resilient when that relationship ended. It has made me proud of my independence and has made me want to work on my muscles of relationship communication. I am so grateful for the freedoms and confidences working with Sasha has given me over the past year.
When you’re in any major life transition, Sasha can help. Sasha has many clever, practical solutions to get you through transitions– most of all–she cares. And she has a gift for finding all the blind spots. No person can see their own; it takes an experienced, intuitive to shed light on old habits that get in the way. Sasha read me like a friend who’s known me for years. After working with her for just a few months I’ve gone from feeling very lost and overwhelmed with my job search, to finding a whole new approach, and a new direction for my path. Our work is not done yet, but I am very happy and satisfied with where I am going.
I got the idea to hire a coach from a podcast about career-building and leadership development. It just made a lot of sense. Fortunately, on my first try, I found Sasha. It’s been a really great experience.
I wasn’t initially looking for a coach. Then I stumbled across Sasha’s site on a search for a writing course. Staring me in the face was the concept of ‘quirkyalone.’ It was like someone finally holding up a mirror—the description fit me to a ‘T’. I had no idea other people felt this way too, i.e. that being happy alone was far better than serial dating or settling for a mediocre relationship.
After our first conversation, I realized how nice it was to talk to someone who understood and could empathize.
I’d done therapy in the past, but this felt more actionable and relatable.
The biggest change is I’ve definitely become bolder. I’ve broken through a wall of anxiety around talking to strangers.
I realized I had a lot of internalized shame. Once Sasha helped me realize that shame wasn’t doing anything productive for me (and wasn’t even true!), a lot changed really quickly!
Now, I’m actually dating, which is completely new for me. I cannot emphasize enough how that would never have happened for me before working with Sasha.
It’s a strange sensation to describe, but I feel more solid and present in the world—instead of feeling like a passive or invisible observer, I feel I’m in charge. I make more eye contact and smile at attractive men, something I never used to do.
If you are considering working with Sasha, DO IT (all capital letters and tons of emphasis)! You will see so much change in even a short amount of time. Sasha has a gift for helping people quickly realize what they want and why they’re holding themselves back from getting it.
I always envisioned a life coach as being someone who would be too overwhelming or pushy for me. Sasha definitely was none of those things. She was very understanding, and helped me find my own path forward, which I imagine is different for every person. One of the biggest issues I struggle with is social anxiety, and I had gotten to the point where I had some serious doubts about being the least bit successful. She often spoke of “hacking” a way through to what I wanted. I had no idea how do that. Sasha was incredibly helpful in figuring things out and helping me to be persistent and accountable, without being forceful or pushy. Her style, it seems, is to figure out the style that works for her clients, which is very effective. While I still have things I’m working on, I’m very grateful to Sasha for not only helping me achieve some of my goals, but actually instilling a positive and hopeful attitude that makes me feel confident that I can continue on to achieve even more positive results.
The personal journey for me of coaching with Sasha has been amazing. I can’t thank you enough for expanding my understanding of sex, sexuality, sensuality and feeling turned on as we have worked to overcome my vaginismus. The coaching also gave me a voice to express myself more openly and honestly about what my barriers have been so that my partner has a better understanding of where I’m coming from. It’s also opened the conversation up to what his barriers have been and how my struggle has affected him.
Sex was a part of my relationship that was broken and needed fixing, which also made it feel more like an obligation. Now sex will be an important part of my life, and something fantastic about myself that I can experience and share with my partner.
I began working with Sasha at a challenging time of transition. I had left my job and run off to live and work at a yoga retreat center for a year. When I returned to the Bay Area, I needed help integrating all that I had learned, and all the ways I had begun to shift things in my life into a new framework. Sasha helped guide me with wisdom, compassion, and humor, helping me to continue to make small shifts, set manageable goals, and to practice self-care. I always felt Sasha was listening carefully, not only to what I was saying, but also to how I was saying it. She could hear in my voice when I was lit up and when I was riddled with insecurity. She has a way of gently reflecting back what I most needed to hear to help me move forward on my journey.
The “playwork” that I committed to at the end of each call kept me on track. These bookends provided a good framework for our sessions, and the writing and other “assignments” showed where I was stuck or resistant, and where I was making strides toward goals.
I strongly recommend working with Sasha as a life coach. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, languishing in old patterns of behavior, or making some major life changes, Sasha has the skills and experience to meet you where you are.
Sasha is adventurous, wise, and willing to be vulnerable in her work and practice which for me, is HUGE for anyone who is doing this kind of work. I don’t really trust people with my personal life information that aren’t vulnerable themselves. Her writing is inspiring and real. Her sense of humor and playfulness compliments her depth beautifully. She asks the important questions and actually cares about the answers. I’ve always been impressed by where we can go in just an hour.
Sasha is someone you want in your life. I highly recommend you contact her if you’re looking for an amazing life coach!
Sasha is highly intuitive, articulate and wise. She listens to what you want at a deep level and has a great way of nudging you along, out of your comfort zone, toward getting what you want in your life. She has helped me to transform many deeply held and limiting beliefs about myself and relationships and opened up my world so that I have a more expansive understanding of what is possible in my life and in my relationships.
For those of you on the fence about working with Sasha take this risk.
After coaching with Sasha, I feel a lot more confident embracing who I am and the idea that being single can be just as celebratory as being in a relationship. There is no sense in feeling “single shame.” I’m also not settling!
Sasha has supported my emotional and creative growth in many ways. We have discussed relationships, work-life balance, creativity, nonviolent communication, ambivalence about raising a child, and being authentic. I learned new skills and tools through our sessions, which have been more effective than my previous experiences with talk therapy and life coaching. I highly recommend working one-on-one with Sasha.”
I found Sasha when I was going through a breakup and needed guidance on being happy alone. I was feeling defeated and anxious. Sasha helped me lay out goals and taught me tools to use in order to move ahead. Her gentle yet effective way of pushing you to better yourself is exactly what I needed. I can honestly say she helped guide me on a path to learn to love being happy alone and not rely on others for reassurance. I would absolutely recommend Sasha to anyone struggling with relationships, career change or other issues that make it difficult to move forward.
I read Sasha’s book Quirkyalone then participated in her Get Quirky online class when I realized I wasn’t living my full life ( a cliche, but how I felt!) The discussions and activities assigned were just what I needed. With Sasha’s easy-going, enthusiastic and supportive nature, I gained so much awareness of myself.
That’s when I started questioning my current career and dating habits. I took a personal leave to travel for months. I was lucky enough to meet up with Sasha and group at the first Argentina Tango Adventure. Sasha created this amazing experience to try out so many things in one week–it’s truly changed my life!
Returning home, my confidence in myself was sky-high: I changed careers, restarted dating in an open/honest way and I joined a local tango community. I owe much of my new outlook on life and ways of interacting to Sasha. I have peace, satisfaction and a true view of my worth. If you are stuck or just can’t get rid of a nagging feeling that your life is moving by without you, Sasha can help like no one else.