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Wet is the story of as a woman trying to figure out what she really, really wants, why a good long-term relationship has been elusive, and what to do with her life over 35 even though she hasn’t checked any of the all-important boxes of American womanhood. 

A man once asked me, “How did you realize that your path of personal development was through sexuality?”  I thought, Wow, what a question. I didn’t have a clear answer because it is not like I woke up one day and said, “Yes, today, I will find my power as a woman through my pelvic floor.”

So yes, my path of healing did run through my sensuality and sexuality. This book Wet is about how that came to be.

I wanted the script of what a woman is supposed to want: a husband, a house, maybe one child, but then again, I didn’t really want that either. The real problem was I didn’t know what I wanted. When we are hopelessly disconnected from ourselves, it’s hard to know.

On my 35th birthday, sick of waiting for “the one” to go on adventures, and wanting to escape my happy single woman “quirkyalone” image that increasingly felt false, I took a solo vacation to Brazil. In Rio, I felt alive. I wanted more. One life-changing week in the world capital of sensuality in Rio de Janeiro led to years of wandering through South America, healing through sensual exploration, or sexploration.

Trading in my secure life in San Francisco (I had a dentist!) for an open ticket to South America found me in one edgy situation after the next. From wearing a bikini for the first time in Brazil to letting myself be manipulated by a sexy artist. From learning tango in a garage in Colombia to dancing in the famed milongas of Argentina.  Looking back I’m amazed by all that sexploration. I don’t know if I was brave or had poor boundaries, but I seemed to have been born with a fuck-it gene that led me to do a lot of things that were way out of my comfort zone—all in a concerted search to become whole again.  

Bringing together the #metoo movement with the modern-day quandaries of single women, my forthcoming memoir Wet is the story of what I learned through all those adventures trying to tease out the relationship between a shattering event that happened when I was six, and the impact of this decades-long secret on my relationships with men. Was there a connection between the present and the past? Between my relationship with my mother and my relationship with men?

Less a story of “this is what happened to me” Wet is more a story of “this is how I healed my shame from an incident of sexual abuse.” The past never leaves us, but we can learn to transcend the impact of past traumas and transform. Wet is chock full of stories with lessons about the importance of anger, the importance of letting go of guilt and shame. Of what it takes to down the walls of fear built up around our hearts that prevent deeper connection, trust, about the difficulty of saying no, and why self-love really is the foundation for a healthy intimate connection.  Wet is about how we women can tune into what we really want by listening to our bodies. Just let your pussy decide. (You’ll learn how I did that–and how I discovered the power of pussywalking–in the book!)

I wrote the book with the sensitive heart of a survivor because I am one. A book for survivors of any kind of childhood trauma, anyone who wants to better understand the journey of healing from abuse, anyone who has kept a secret that has burned away at their soul, or any single woman facing down the biological clock panicking about WTF am I going to do with my life? For people who want to travel and people who want a different life. I wrote Wet for all of you.  

“I cannot WAIT to read Wet! I think you’re doing such a great service for women, reminding us that we have the right to live a turned-on life!”
-Yancy Lael, business owner

“Orgasmic pioneer Sasha Cagen is on a vulnerable and potent personal research mission into the world of sensuality, and she’s got some fantastic reports from the front.”–Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

“The book proposal for Wet made me blush, and made me want to read more.”–Tara Gentile

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What did I choose “wet” rather than “juicy”? Listen here for a sneak peek 

The title is designed to make you blush. I want you to feel a visceral sense of turn-on in reading the book. Wet is that feeling of turn-on, not only sexual turn-on but the turn-on of feeling alive. It’s about being open to intuition, it’s an homage to authentic female sexuality and sensuality that gets diminished in our culture into being a caricature, a performance. To learn more about my thinking on “wet,” listen to this podcast with Lindsay and Lani from Fuck Dating.

Want to find your “Wet”?

Do you want to find what lights you up? Do you want to have a better relationship with your body and pleasure? The eight years I have taken to write Wet (and live the stories told in the book) gave me many powerful tools to help other women heal from past experiences of trauma and find their “wetness” or life force energy and truth. I integrate those tools and approach into my traditional life-coaching practice.

Think of it as sensuality life coaching. Where I’m working on helping a woman reconnect with her sensuality or leave a relationship, write a book, or determine next steps in a career, I use the secrets I’ve learned to help you navigate your way to an authentic, turned-on life that has you connected with your body, with your body whispering to you the way forward in your life.

This Wet coaching program is for any woman, whether you are single, newly separated, or in a committed relationship.

This program is an investment in your entire life because when you explore your sensuality you free up your confidence. You will be able to self-coach yourself through your connection with your body into a new posture.

You’ll become more assertive in the bedroom and at work, learn to share your feelings, have more fun, and enjoy a better relationship with your body, closer, more real relationships, and better sex too.

If you are curious to explore “wetness coaching” with me click here to tell me more about you and what you would want to focus on together. We’ll set up a time to talk to assess whether we are a good fit.


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