This week I’m sharing case studies from participants in GetQuirky. In my interviews, I’m asking, What becomes possible when a person decides to embrace his or her quirkiness?
Today Andreas Mueller, 44, who does customer tech support in Germany, shares how my online GetQuirky class changed his everyday life.
The next GetQuirky class starts Monday, January 13. To find out what happens when you embrace your inner quirk, join us in the next class!
Here’s Andreas’ story, in his own words:
“I have been quirky (and quirkyalone) for the most of my life without noticing. Most of my quirks just seemed to be natural to me. Once in a while, especially when talking about things I do in my spare time, it became clear that my hobbies are anything but common. Spending all night looking at stars and planets? Radio amateurs (aka ham radio)–what is that, and after all, why don’t you use a phone?
I became aware of being quirky after I had been literally kicked out of a long-term relationship. I realized that I had given up so much up of my quirkyself in order to maintain the relationship and please my partner. Apart from the necessary period of grief, I was struggling to revert to the fulfilling lifestyle I have had before, doing things I liked to do. Read More
time to love yourself up
Everyone talks about loving yourself. But actually, truly loving yourself is a pretty big deal. And it takes practice. So today I am challenging you to write a love letter to yourself. Yes, you! The one who is reading this blog post, you!
To help, I’m sharing with you an exercise that we do in both of my quirkycourses: GetQuirky and Quirkytogether 101. This is part one. In a future post, I’ll share another practice that I have found that works to cultivate self-love.
Why? We live in a world where self-criticism is a way of life, constant background noise in our minds. We spend so much more time thinking about things to fix about ourselves. In a world filled with self-help, where does this endless quest to be better ever end?
We rarely stop to celebrate ourselves as the incredible creatures we are.
It’s an inside job.
We may think the salvation lies in finding just the right person to love us. We dream of a great romantic relationship, or when we are already in one, we dream of feeling totally accepted and adored. Of being seen and loved just for who we are.
If we dream of that but never give it to ourselves, it just won’t work. Every relationship unravels if we don’t truly stand for our own value. We just can’t expect that someone to do that for us.
Although people help us to see ourselves by loving and appreciating us, no one else can give us our value. It’s an impossible job for someone else to do that–because it’s an inside job.
Consider this: Every day, we are training other people about how to treat us. If we show up habitually putting ourselves down, we are training other people to devalue us. When we show up knowing our value, we train people to treat us as valuable too.Read More
I’ve been getting great questions from my readers as I start talking more about being quirkytogether. Questions open up a chance for dialogue and dialogue always helps us to learn more. If you have questions, bring them on!
they’re not lovers, they’re quirkytogethers, from my book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics
Here are couple of great questions that have come in about the Quirkytogether 101 course.
Leslie shares: “I was very excited when I heard about your book Quirkyalone. I felt for the first time that being quirky AND alone (which is my preferred state) is okay. I am 67, attractive, busy, and fortunately healthy. I married in 1970 and divorced in 1976. I have had many long-term relationships over the years and found them all a struggle. I revel in being alone and feel stronger because of it. I am a mother of two, and grandmother of two. That being said, I am saddened by your recent turn toward Quirkytogether. I was hoping for more discussion re being alone and truly happy that way.
Perhaps things have happened in your own personal life which have changed your focus. And that is wonderful if that is working for you. I wish I had gotten to know you sooner when you were truly Quirkyalone.”
Sasha responds: Thanks for sharing your story with me. Let me be clear. I’m still truly quirkyalone! Whether I’m single or partnered, I consider myself quirkyalone. Quirkyalone stands for freedom for all of us to create the lives that most suit us. The essence of quirkyalone is that you don’t date simply out of social obligation or convention. The quirkyalone movement has always stood up to say that our experience can be rich when we are single or coupled.Read More