Hey! Welcome to my corner of the Internet.
I’m guessing you got here because you’ve heard about my work as an author, blogger, life coach, and/or tango transformation guide, or one of my many projects.
Since 2000, I’ve been helping women and men find happiness within themselves through my quirkyalone movement. That movement empowers both single and partnered people to love and connect with themselves.
I created this page to give you a quick introduction to my work with links to get to know me and my perspective.
You can watch this video for an intro too.
If you like what you read, subscribe to my newsletter the Sasha Cagen Weeklyish. That’s the best way for us to stay in touch.
You’ll get blog posts and quirky personal missives from me while you’re updated about upcoming books, quirky travel adventures, courses and meetups to join, social events, and more!
I’m most well-known for coining the term “quirkyalone” (n., adj.). A quirkyalone is a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and so prefers to wait for the right person to come along rather than dating indiscriminately. Quirkyalones can also be married or in a committed relationship (quirkytogether).
Philosophically quirkyalone is about finding happiness within yourself and sharing that with others rather than expecting others to fill all your needs. Quirkyalone is not really about being single ultimately. You can be single, partnered, poly, dating, or have any relationship style you want. We all need other people. The quirky approach is about connecting with yourself to connect more deeply with others while valuing solitude.
Check out my book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. This will be your gateway to the quirkyalone universe. In this fast-changing world where many people feel like there is something wrong with them when they are single, people say it’s a book that gives them endless comfort, joy and laughs. You might also want to read the original Quirkyalone essay
Listen to this NPR interview I did on February 14 2013 (Quirkyalone Day) that goes over lots of the quirkyalone movement philosophy. We talk about how our ideas about being single have changed on a wonderful hourlong NPR show out of Illinois. This was a great conversation with lots of smart callers calling in about cross-cultural ideas about singlehood and coupling, the birth rate, how we treat older people who live alone and how our society must step up to the plate to support them more, and much more.
The host asked me what would happen when I do find my soul mate. . . will this be the end of the road for quirkyalone? I told him I will model quirkytogetherness with my partner. But of course. . . Here’s the show. Give it a listen and enjoy.
Much of my work with quirkyalone is about healing single shame, specifically the feeling that there’s something wrong with you if you have been single a long time. If this strikes a nerve, watch a video interview with fellow author Sara Eckel (It’s Not You) about healing single shame so you feel free to open up, own your history and feel more free, lovable and secure in yourself.
Some people say I reinvented the word “quirky.” I like the way quirky expresses and honors our individuality. Here are the results of a survey I did on the word quirky with my perspective on “quirky”: “to be true to oneself and give oneself approval; even if you know there are aspects of you that are a little bit off kilter.”
Self-marriage I’ve been writing about self-marriage since 2004 when I published Quirkyalone and I’ve watched the trend take off and go mainstream. I also took the plunge to marry myself in 2014!
Self-marriage is not exclusive. Meaning, if you marry yourself, you can also marry another person. Or marry the earth! Self-marriage is a deep, creative, wonderful way to make a commitment to self-love and the process is personal to each individual who marries him or herself.
Here you can read my interview with Vogue, explaining self-marriage as a deep act of self-acceptance.
I wrote this blog post and included a video of my own self-marriage to tell the story of why I decided to tie the knot with myself at 40 (no white wedding dress required).
I help women and men with the self-marriage process in my coaching practice, so if you would like to get some support on defining your own self-wedding journey (why you are doing this, what this means to you, your vows, and your rituals) then be in touch. Often the self-marriage journey is part of a larger coaching process. You can request an initial consult with me here.
Tango I’m not only obsessed with tango, I also write about tango, talk and tango, and I use tango as an analogy and tool in my coaching practice and in the Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires,
My philosophy in a nutshell: as in tango, as in life. The dance of tango provides the perfect mirror to observe how you do and don’t connect with yourself and a partner. By studying tango, even for a week, you can find profound wisdom through the dance for yourself, your relationships and your life. I teach about the culture of tango as a theater and how tango can help you with reconnecting to your sensuality. letting go and sense of joy, becoming more confident, and much more.
Read some of my tango essays:
What Tango Taught Me About Relationships
How Can You Be a Feminist and Like Tango?
You can also watch me talk about the healing power of tango, and how tango healed me.
I share this philosophy of tango as a mirror with those who come to Buenos Aires for a Tango Adventure with me and my team, and I also use this approach as a tool in my coaching practice, so we can use tango as a tool whether you come to Buenos Aires or choose to learn tango first at home. If you’re interested in coming to Buenos Aires, read about the Tango Adventure here and sign up for the special Tango Adventure list. If you want to bring that tango spark to your life at home, talk to me about coaching. Some people do both and that’s a great combination sure to take you out of your comfort zone–with lots of support.
Travel writing I like to write about the cultures where I travel, or more often, live for an extended period of time.
Chongos, Histericos and Chamuyeros: A Buenos Aires Dating Dictionary (a must-read if you’re going to date in Buenos Aires, please profit from my mistakes)
8 Trends Noticed Upon My Homecoming to San Francisco
How to Be a Flaneur (or Flaneuse) in Paris
I also write about dating and relationships, self-love and self-respect, technology and many other topics in our modern world in my newsletter, so be sure to sign up for the newsletter to not miss a beat!
Look forward to meeting you, whether in my inbox, as a client, or on a retreat!