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Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

Coupled or single, man or woman, social butterfly or shrinking violet, quirkyalones have walked among us, invisible until now. Through the coining of a new word, this tribe has been given a voice.

I first coined the word “quirkyallone” in a 2000 essay in my own magazine To-Do List.

Quirkyalone means; “A person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status. Also adj. Of, relating to, or embodying quirkyalones. See also: romantic, idealist, independent”

My original essay defining “quirkyalone” got reprinted in Utne and sparked such a huge reaction in people who wrote me letters, “On my god, I thought I was the only one on the planet that felt that way.”

This tidal wave of interest led to my 2004 book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper SF).

Now a cult favorite, Quirkyalone is a book of essays, art and interviews that is designed to accompany your journey through life whether you are single, coupled, sexually prolific or celibate. It’s a book for anyone who has spent more than a year single and wondered, Is something wrong with me because I’m not coupled up?

With essays diving into loneliness vs. solitude, the romantic character of the quirkyalone, and how to be quirkyalone in a relationship, Quirkyalone goes deep while also giving you a feeling of camaraderie and pride for being a romantic who doesn’t settle.

Quirkyalone is a little like your favorite record or mix tape, it’s something you never tire of picking up again for a laugh, solace, and inspiration.

Quirkyalone has been one of the books/forces/movements that saved me after my “big” breakup. It also helps me silence well-meaning people who are telling me what I’m doing with MY love life. It’s so helpful to know that there are people out there who agree that just because I’m single doesn’t mean finding a partner should be my second full time job.”


South Florida

“Of all of the books that I’ve read, Quirkyalone has definitely been one of the most important books for affirming my journey and cultivating self-acceptance. I’ve picked it up at many different moments in my life and it always brings so much wisdom and joy. So thank you for all that you’ve created, because it’s truly a gift!”

Caroline Leamon 


“I’m a sociology professor, and one of the courses I teach is Deviant Behavior. My first unit in that course is on various forms of non-conformity, and the main thing I try to get across is how people who question assumptions and traditions and who don’t fit in or follow all of the rules or norms can have a positive impact on society. One of the texts I require for this unit is your book, Quirkyalone.”

Aaron Culley

Associate Professor of Sociology, Wingate University, Wingate, NC

“I was very much a wallflower and refused to do anything involving dancing. However, after reading the Quirkyalone book and becoming much more comfortable with the idea of who and what I was, my self-confidence rose. The very next social thing I went to, a wedding, I was dancing barefoot on the dance floor most of the evening.”

Ian Oliver 


Are you a quirkyalone?

Well, there are two ways to find out.

Take the quirkyalone quiz to get your numerical score as a quirkyalone. Sign up for my newsletter here and you’ll get access to the quiz.

Read Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. The book will definitely get you inside the quirkyalone mindset and philosophy and you’ll know for sure if you are one of us.

Want additional support for your quirkyalone nature?

Life Coaching with Sasha

Quirkyalone is just the beginning. When you work with me, your whole world opens up. You can learn more about individual coaching services with me here.