Happy Quirkyalone Day 2019! Here are some hand-drawn cards from readers

by | Feb 14, 2019 | My Life, Pussywalking, Quirkyalone | 9 comments

Let’s hang out from Kerry Lander in Melbourne, Australia, a writer and participant in the upcoming May 4-10 Tango Adventure

Love yourself first and foremost by married quirkytogether and original gangster Danielle Jatlow, now of Burlington, Vermont. Danielle was at the first Quirkyalone Day party in San Francisco back in 2003

Love by Marian Smith

Card by Sarah Lipuma, a climate change activist in New York. Words come from a song by Phoebe Blue of Phoebe Blue and the Make-Baleaves. Phoebe and Sarah are part of a quirkyalone/together crew on Staten Island, New York. Phoebe has been singing quirkyalone-together songs at concerts on February 14 for years! I got to meet Phoebe last year at a Quirkyalone Meetup in NYC and she’s awesome. She brought Sarah into quirkyalone/together.

Card by writer and artist Jenny Bitner of San Francisco, also an original gangster quirkyalone/together present at the first Quirkyalone Day party at Atlas Cafe in San Francisco, 2003


Wow, I feel blessed to have received these beautiful handdrawn cards and to be able to share them with you.

How are you celebrating Quirkyalone Day this year?

Here’s what I’m doing to celebrate.

Today is a workday that started with a great first session with a coaching client. We talked about expressing needs in relationships and preferences and boundaries in sexual intimacy–quirkyalone topics for sure. I shared the tools of Nonviolent Communication, a set of communication practices I have found to be transformative for myself and many clients.

After our call I did morning self-care practices for body and mind: a total-body deep stretch yoga video and my favorite calf- and foot-stretching video and the Milagrows practice of naming all the shit I am not grateful for–and saying I’m grateful for it. Later I plan to do a self-pleasure exercise too of pussy breathing in preparation for pussywalking! These are all self-care practices that make me feel more loose and limber throughout the day, physically, emotionally, creatively, and mentally. I might do them on any good self-care day. Quirkyalone Day is a chance to come back to all of them.

Later I will talk with more clients and hopefully fit in a bit of writing before I go to an appointment with my kinesiologist Maxi who is helping me to heal a hip injury (gluteal tendinopathy) I’ve had for 2.5 years. Working with Maxi on healing that injury–and doing the daily exercises that are most important according to the evidence–are definitely an act of quirkyalone self-love. I want to feel strong, free and fluid in my hips as I age. Later I will go out to dance tango, probably at De Querusa milonga. Perhaps there will be a tangasm or two on this Quirkyalone/Together Day 2019 if I am lucky.

As you can see celebrating Quirkyalone Day can be any act of self-care or enjoyment in your day, alone or together. It could be a massage, dancing naked to a sexy song in the mirror, or getting together with a friend or snuggling your quirkytogether partner. You can do any self-care practice that you like to do for yourself but have been neglecting doing.

How about you? How are you celebrating Quirkyalone Day in your everyday life this year? Let us know in the comments.


  1. Sarah L.

    Thanks for the shout out! After work, my quirkytogether beloved and I are going out for a romantic dinner, which seems pretty mainstream except all of the cooks are Italian grandmas (Nonnas!) at this restaurant. Then, we’re having a Quirkyalone get-together at Phoebe’s house to celebrate friendship, and we’ll cap the night off with giving quick hugs to friends from out of state who are visiting using their wedding gift from Maggie, a couple’s welding class here on the island! Have a fun self-care day, Sasha!

    • Sasha Cagen

      Love this day you have planned Sarah–that’s fantastic. Please send my shoutout back to your Staten Island quirkyalone/together crew! I’m thinking of you.

  2. Maxfield Sparrow

    I’m celebrating by performing in The Vagina Monologues! I am non-binary transgender and have been on hormone therapy for a year and a half now. I’m performing the poem “Reclaiming Cunt” as an affirmation and validation of my gender and how I express it, as a metagender person with a masculine body presentation and the proud owner of a beautiful vagina. We’re doing three performances total; tonight is our second performance. I introduced the cast to pussywalking, sharing Sasha’s videos, and everyone loves it. We do lots of pussywalking before and after our performances, as well as the whole time we’re on stage. Happy Quirkyalone Day and Happy Vagina Day!

    • Sasha Cagen

      Wow, Maxfield, I am honored and so very happy to get your comment. I have talked with friends about how transgender/nonbinary people experience pussywalking so I’m excited to hear that it’s working for you. I also am so glad that you shared pussywalking with the cast of the Vagina Monologues–wow, wow, wow. Wonderful! Please send my greetings to the cast!

  3. Paul Mooney

    I have an improv performance tonight with the team I have been with for the last year. It was pointed out to me that everyone on the team does not have a partner except for one person. I am spending this day like every other day; mostly alone. Can’t be sad about it. It’s just the way life has evolved for me. Hope everyone has a great day.

    • Sasha Cagen

      Very interesting Paul. Thank you for sharing about your day and that observation about the troupe. My friend Eric Klinenberg is a sociologist at NYU. In his book Going Solo about the rise of people living alone he cites data showing single people are more likely to volunteer and be involved in their communities. I certainly know quirkytogether coupled women and men who are involved with their communities too so coupled people are not all hermits but it is interesting to notice a group like yours has mostly unpartnered people.

  4. tina z-m

    hi sasha, thank you for posting these cool photos of your cards this year! i love them! i got the late afternoon off early from work here in new jersey, and i am looking forward to tuning in to “DJ Rubberband Girl is reviving the beloved Quirkyalone radio special this Valentine’s Day from 3PM to 5:30PM with guest-host DJ Microtone.” I MISS BERKELEY sooooo much….but being out here with my new yorkers and big apple folx is always rad. p.s.- i am also celebrating my Vs reading the Vagina Monologues today. namaste peace + love, tina

    • Sasha Cagen

      That’s awesome Tina. Thanks for sharing your Quirkyalone Day and cool that you are tuning in to DJ Rubberband Girl’s special! Erin does an excellent job on that!

  5. Kerry Lander

    Hi Sasha – thank you for posting my card, and so lovely to see the others! For QuirkyAlone Day here in Melbourne, I took myself on a date to a quirky intimate cabaret club called The Butterfly Club, to see an Amy Winehouse tribute performer and her band. It was so, so good and the perfect thing to do.
    A Happy QuirkyAlone day to all! xxx Kerry


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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

At work on a memoir called Wet, about adventures in healing through sensuality.

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