A Personal Response to Glynnis MacNicol’s Essay, “Men Fear Me, Society Shames Me, and I Love My Life”–and a special offer

by | May 29, 2024 | Advice, Being Single, Personal Growth, Pussywalking, Quirkyalone, The Point of Life is to Enjoy, Turned-On Living, Wet | 0 comments

Bold headline!

A few of my wonderful newsletter subscribers sent me this New York Times op-ed  over the weekend, so I want to pass it along to you. This piece Men Fear Me, Society Shames Me, and I Love My Life by the memoirist Glynnis MacNicol is a great read for anyone who identifies as a “quirkyalone.”

Glynnis MacNicol published No One Tells You This, and is soon releasing I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself about her choice to move to Paris for sixteen months to pursue pleasure and connection after the pandemic. Some themes sound similar to the ground I am covering in Wet! I am looking forward to reading it!

Glynnis wrote this op-ed on the brink of turning 50. She writes about daring to enjoy her life, even though she hasn’t achieved the milestones of adulthood that everyone tells us are crucial to living a fulfilling life: getting married and having children. 

She writes, “It’s not just in enjoying my age that I’m defying expectations. It’s that I’ve exempted myself from the central things we’re told give a woman’s life meaning — partnership and parenting. I’ve discovered that despite all the warnings, I regret none of those choices.”

What a bold headline and a refreshing stance of clarity! It’s tough for me, or any person, to honestly say that she has zero regrets in life. Come on. But the certainty feels like a useful corrective to the many voices that insinuate or directly tell us that we will regret our life choices if we are not partnered or don’t have kids.

Readers are calling Glynnis a hedonist in the comments. I found their criticism fascinating. Since when is taking an active interest in your own life satisfaction “selfish”? If you don’t look into what gives you pleasure and what makes you fulfilled, who else is going to do it for you?! Are we all supposed to be martyrs?

Glynnis’ piece led me to think–damn, I want to write a piece about being single at 50 too! Her publication of this essay lit a fire under me. It also led me reflect that actively enjoying your life as a single woman at 50 doesn’t just happen. We live in a society that devalues older people. I  regard my own life with some surprise at how joyful and meaningful it is. I also look at photos of myself when I was 35 and think I look younger now. I’m less worried than I was back then.

Specific choices made this sense of confidence possible for me. To wit: I chose to ignore the societal messaging that tells us it’s all over after 40, that no one wants us, that we are not valuable. I also chose to unlearn that conditioning, and infuse myself with other ideas about the value of wisdom and experience that makes me even sexier and more interesting.

I chose to put myself around encouraging, inspiring people who helped me walk this unconventional path, and to spend time in places like Buenos Aires, a culture where people of all ages go out to enjoy themselves at night. I subscribe to Instagram accounts like ageismisneverinstyle to give myself a boost. Fly Ageless is also fun.

I chose to invest in my own sexual energy as life force energy with all the classes that have made this a focus of my coaching practice, to value my own life path, even though it’s very different from most other people’s, and to prioritize my own pleasure (broadly defined).

Were these choices “selfish”? Or have they made me more resourced to help others? A person who enjoys their life can typically be more helpful than someone who is miserable.

As I sat with this piece, I felt inspired to do something new with you, my newsletter subscribers. (If you are reading this online, this spontaneity is an incentive to become a newsletter subscriber. You never know what will come to your email inbox when you do!)

Thousands of you get my newsletter. Some of you have become coaching clients, taken a class, or come to Buenos Aires to learn tango with me. And there are so many of you I don’t know yet. 

I want to help more of you live turned-on lives regardless of your age. 

I am giving away 3 45-minute FREE “It’s Not Over Yet” coaching sessions to the next three people who reach out and fill out this form in the next 48 hours. 

Fill out this form by Friday at noon to be eligible for one of these three lucky spots. Tell me about you and what you would want to focus on.

If you “win” (who doesn’t like “winning”?”) you will get a chance to talk with me as a sounding board to get clear about what you want to live at this stage of your life, uninhibited by what other people think is possible.

Getting clear is the first step! When you know what you want, you can let it unfold.

We will also discover action steps for you to take after our call. People typically say they feel motivated to take action after they talk with me.

We may take a body-centered transformation approach if that speaks to you. You may get a personalized pussywalking lesson to help you connect with your body’s wisdom. I am a champion at teaching pussywalking because I invented it! It’s the second word I have formally invented, after “quirkyalone.” 

Fill out this form in the next 48 hours by noon, Friday, May 31, and you might “WIN” as one of the three lucky spots. 

Looking forward to meeting the lucky three of you!!! I will be lucky too 🙂

xo,

Sasha

 

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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

At work on a memoir called Wet, about adventures in healing through sensuality.

Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter (my primary way of staying in connection with readers and clients).

Follow me on Instagram where I share snapshots of my own turned-on life with advice on how to live your own.