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photo by Natalia Brasil / Cura Fotagrafia / taken at our Self-Love and Sensuality Women’s Retreat in Florianopolis, Brazil, November 2017

Today is International Women’s Day and I want to take this opportunity to recognize the fierceness of women who don’t settle.

–The women who left relationships that offered security but didn’t allow them to be who they are and won’t tolerate anything less

— The women who want a big love with a true equal and are willing to wait for it beyond the socially marked “expiration dates” of 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, on

— The women who prioritize their own self-development

— The women who slog through online dating and stay positive! (And/or take breaks knowing Tinder, GreenSingles, and Happn will be there when you come back.)

— The women who want hot sex and aren’t afraid to own or explore their sexuality

— The women who want respect and equal pay at the workplace, who negotiate for themselves, and support other women to get fairplay too

— The women who are speaking up in the #metoo movement about sexual violation and the women who are working on their own healing privately and quietly

— The women who dare to create their own #happilyeverafter whether they are with a man or not

Not settling is not just about not settling for less than what you really want in love or in bed. Not settling is also not settling for a president or a legislator who disrespects women or a boss who routinely harasses women on the team. Not settling is about being in alignment with yourself and your own principles. . . it’s also about not settling in your relationship with yourself!

So it’s with a special bow to this non-settling spirit that I wish you a happy International Women’s Day!

A big shoutout to the men who truly support this kind of questioning, open-minded, needle-pushing women. We need you. I hope you men get that feminism is a big tent. Feminism is a movement to liberate all of us from confining gender roles and any residual idea that women are inferior to men.

PS. A little bit of levity about not settling: A very dear male quirkyalone friend shared this link with me. If you want some inspiration about not settling in online dating, follow this Instagram account idratherdiealone.