What Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum Has to Teach All of Us About Dating

by | Oct 3, 2021 | Advice, Dating, Quirkyalone, Relationships | 2 comments

If you are looking for something to watch, I suggest Love on the Spectrum, an Australian docu-series on Netflix about autistic people on their dating journeys.

It’s light, entertaining, and uplifting. Plus, the people they are following have a lot to teach all of us, including neurotypical people, about how to be emotionally brave in dating.

Love on the Spectrum is the best dating show because the people are so incredibly real. They say things like this, “I feel very warm, appreciated, and comfortable with you. How would you like to go out with me on a third date?” I loved it when one of them said he would never want to be on The Bachelor because he wouldn’t get to be himself.

Dating is tough enough for everyone, but it is has got to be tougher for autistic people who face stigma and tend to find social interactions challenging. What I love about the people on the show is their honesty. No pretending, no facade. What you see is what you get.

When it comes to love, their sincerity is so refreshing. They get hurt and disappointed, but they don’t get jaded and they don’t give up. One of the most important qualities to cultivate when you are dating is resilience. They also have parents who really support their self-love.

Lovely Michael is not afraid to say, “I’m on a quest to find true love.” How many of us are willing to say that out loud?

Another great line comes from 22-year-old Teo, who said, “I get so nervous about… what if I die alone?” Who says that on a date?

They bring gifts on first dates. They take it slow. They ask permission to hug or hold hands. Their courtships are so quaint and lovely compared to the hot mess of the dating-app world.

The people on the show get advice from Jodi Rodgers, relationship specialist for autistic people, who teaches them how to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Since the dating apps have come to dominate the ways we meet, almost everyone today needs a rudimentary course on how to date today because phone-based apps like Tinder and Hinge have shaped many people’s behaviors to be downright rude and bizarre.

I suspect the producers are heavily coaching them to say how they really feel on their dates, or they are just the most authentic people ever. I have never seen modern-day people be more open confessing their feelings. “I’m into you–how do you feel about me?”

Someone has to be brave enough to ask that question first. Telling someone else how you feel on a date equals MAJOR LIFE SKILL.

The people on the show are young, in their twenties and early thirties. I would like to see the show follow older people on the spectrum in their dating journeys too and to hear about how their relationships have gone.

The bottom-line message from the show is: Be yourself. Be brave.

Always good advice in dating and life.

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2 Comments

  1. mike

    I just discovered that show a couple of days ago. Very difficult to watch as I am in the Cassandra realm of the “spectrum.” No, I haven’t had true panic attacks on her scale. However at one time I wasn’t able to use the phone without having to psych myself up and take deep breaths. She’s is “weird” but that’s my kind of weird! Very difficult to find someone like that.

    Reply
    • Sasha Cagen

      Thanks for your comment Mike. Cassandra comes across as a really amazing person on the show. I thought it was really brave to show how she handled the panic attack by going to the bathroom and then asking to end the date. More than that, it was even more inspiring to see her keep going on another date with someone else.

      Reply

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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

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