Q. I had a difficult experience with a self-help guru a few years ago, and I am hesitant to go down that path again…but I guess there is something in what you do that speaks to me.
A. I am so not a self-help guru. I could have gone down that path of styling myself as a guru with the quirkyalone movement but that always made me uncomfortable. I think it’s because I’m a writer that I need to be real–and let you in on my own humanity. So that means, no guru stuff with me. My role as your coach is to create the space for introspection so we find answers that are unique to you. Working together we will uncover what *you* really want, what’s holding you back, and we will create an action plan for your future, or whatever goals we are working on.
Q: Who do you typically work with?
A: Most of my clients are women, most, but not all, are single, and they range in ages from 30ish to 60ish. Most are professionals, academics, or creative/entrepreneurial types and usually they identify with or aspire to being quirkyalone–and to the idea of living a wet, turned-on life! Sometimes they come from sexually repressed areas such as New England or England, as I did, and are looking for a guide to help them shed conditioning. Some clients are in Australia, some in Switzerland. The location diversity is amazing.
Q. Do you work with men?
A. Yes. The majority of my clients are women but I also enjoy working with the men who are drawn to my work and perspective.
Q: Do you do one-time sessions so I can try it out first? Or do you have a program?
A: Shifting deep beliefs and habits is no overnight matter. So while we can talk once, I don’t really see that as the way I provide you with the most value. I need to get to know you, and it takes time for the magic to happen as you take on new behaviors, thought patterns, and ways of being. Clients work with me for a minimum of three months because that’s the minimum I see for a lasting shift to occur within you. Often clients continue with me for longer, and that’s up to you.
Q: What is your approach in coaching?
A: My coaching has some of the benefits of therapy, but it’s always concrete and forward-moving. My coaching assists you in three phases:
— we get to know you, where you are now, and identify what you really want
— we uncover what’s blocking you, we will explore your blind spots, and perspectives you may not have been considering
— we create the concrete “playwork” that will help you create the life you want, as I guide you to make this change real in your life
I will help you to get moving and stay moving! And we make it a ride that can be fun.
We create concrete “playwork” as you play your way to the changes that you want. I share with you practical tools that you can use now and for the rest of your life to stay true to yourself. You practice these and report back to me.
I am neither a didactic/tough-love coach nor a passive listener. Instead you get lots of empathy, patience, wisdom, good humor, creative brainstorming, and compassion–and a very get-it-done attitude that gets you moving toward making real change in your life.
Q: Are you a licensed therapist? What is your training?
A: No. I am not a licensed mental health professional and do not provide psychotherapy, counseling, or any other mental health service that would require a license.
I provide coaching and education that results in substantial learning and transformation. My training is in CTI principles, the largest coach-training institute in the world, a model based on the belief that we are all naturally creative, resourceful and whole—completely capable of finding our own answers to whatever challenges we face. My coaching is also based on 15 years of writing and working with quirkyalones. I am a graduate of Columbia University.
I’ve also done extensive training in healthy female sexuality and tango/psicotango. I’m writing about all that in my new book Wet. No matter what the program, you will get a mix of mind and body perspectives to make positive changes that stick.
Q: How is this different than therapy?
A: Fundamentally, therapy focuses on self-understanding with equal emphasis on the present and the past that shaped you. In coaching, we will talk about your past to resolve whatever is holding you back, but we keep our attention on moving forward.
My process is educational and inspirational as well as practical and concrete, including many tools to help you achieve your goals and continue your growth after the coaching relationship is complete. Coaching is about action. There will be “playwork.”
Q: What happens in the individual sessions?
A: We talk on Skype/phone about what you want and how to achieve the results you’re looking for. Mostly, I help you move forward. I’ll teach you strategies to stay true to yourself and develop a new relationship to your fears that you will be able to use for the rest of your life. Sometimes I’ll have you do an exercise, a writing assignment, or other “playwork,” whatever the session calls for. I don’t follow any scripts or formulas because I believe each person is unique. I do have many exercises and books that I will give you based on you and your needs.
I steer clear of lecturing/advice giving as well as being a passive listener. I am very honest with you and I ask you to be very honest with me. I ask you thought-provoking questions, give you a lot of support through the process. You’ll get a much better sense of my style and approach in the 20-minute consultation.
Q: What if I don’t live near you?
A: I see my clients over Skype/phone. I have clients from all over the world who love the convenience of Skype/phone coaching.
Q. What’s the first step?
A. If you’re curious and intrigued about working with me, the first step is to fill out this form and tell me more about you and what you want to explore or achieve through coaching. As long as I believe there’s a 90% chance I can help you, we’ll set up a time for a free 20-minute consultation.
In this chat, I’ll ask you more questions and get more clear about whether I think I can help you. If so, we’ll decide if we want to work together and get started.