Pussy Grabs Back! Let’s get one million people pussywalking by the time of the US election in November.

Let’s get one million women (and men, and people of all gender identities) pussywalking by the time of the US election in November 2024.

How is that for bold? We are all sick of marching.

We need something new to put a pep in our step.

Why? Pussywalking activates the subtle pleasure and power that we need to not only survive, but to thrive.

As one of my intrepid Instagram followers said in this comment on one of my posts, “Pussywalking is the ultimate positive action we can take as women. We’re taking back our power. Our energy. Our force. And if we’re in that mindset and energy as women – we can make things happen.”

She continued, “Pussywalking is a way to build our ‘muscle.’ Our voice. Our confidence that we do matter and no weren’t not going to just go along with this latest batch of insanity in the US.”

In essence, we’re not taking shit anymore and we’re not apologizing for it.

I hired a videographer to recorded a workshop that I taught in Bali to a small group of women (and one man!) to teach them how to pussywalk.

I’m releasing these beautiful videos soon to teach you how to tap into an energy source you might not even know that you have to activate a subtle pleasure that can fuel you. Let’s spread the word and get all our friends pussywalking. (The into to the videos is above!)

Enter your email address here and you will get the videos.

Learn alongside us!

Tell your friends! Share this post!

Pussy grabs back. Let’s do this.

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A Personal Response to Glynnis MacNicol’s Essay, “Men Fear Me, Society Shames Me, and I Love My Life”–and a special offer

Bold headline!

A few of my wonderful newsletter subscribers sent me this New York Times op-ed  over the weekend, so I want to pass it along to you. This piece Men Fear Me, Society Shames Me, and I Love My Life by the memoirist Glynnis MacNicol is a great read for anyone who identifies as a “quirkyalone.”

Glynnis MacNicol published No One Tells You This, and is soon releasing I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself about her choice to move to Paris for sixteen months to pursue pleasure and connection after the pandemic. Some themes sound similar to the ground I am covering in Wet! I am looking forward to reading it!

Glynnis wrote this op-ed on the brink of turning 50. She writes about daring to enjoy her life, even though she hasn’t achieved the milestones of adulthood that everyone tells us are crucial to living a fulfilling life: getting married and having children. 

She writes, “It’s not just in enjoying my age that I’m defying expectations. It’s that I’ve exempted myself from the central things we’re told give a woman’s life meaning — partnership and parenting. I’ve discovered that despite all the warnings, I regret none of those choices.”

What a bold headline and a refreshing stance of clarity! It’s tough for me, or any person, to honestly say that she has zero regrets in life. Come on. But the certainty feels like a useful corrective to the many voices that insinuate or directly tell us that we will regret our life choices if we are not partnered or don’t have kids.

Readers are calling Glynnis a hedonist in the comments. I found their criticism fascinating. Since when is taking an active interest in your own life satisfaction “selfish”? If you don’t look into what gives you pleasure and what makes you fulfilled, who else is going to do it for you?! Are we all supposed to be martyrs?

Glynnis’ piece led me to think–damn, I want to write a piece about being single at 50 too! Her publication of this essay lit a fire under me. It also led me reflect that actively enjoying your life as a single woman at 50 doesn’t just happen. We live in a society that devalues older people. I  regard my own life with some surprise at how joyful and meaningful it is. I also look at photos of myself when I was 35 and think I look younger now. I’m less worried than I was back then.

Specific choices made this sense of confidence possible for me. To wit: I chose to ignore the societal messaging that tells us it’s all over after 40, that no one wants us, that we are not valuable. I also chose to unlearn that conditioning, and infuse myself with other ideas about the value of wisdom and experience that makes me even sexier and more interesting.

I chose to put myself around encouraging, inspiring people who helped me walk this unconventional path, and to spend time in places like Buenos Aires, a culture where people of all ages go out to enjoy themselves at night. I subscribe to Instagram accounts like ageismisneverinstyle to give myself a boost. Fly Ageless is also fun.

I chose to invest in my own sexual energy as life force energy with all the classes that have made this a focus of my coaching practice, to value my own life path, even though it’s very different from most other people’s, and to prioritize my own pleasure (broadly defined).

Were these choices “selfish”? Or have they made me more resourced to help others? A person who enjoys their life can typically be more helpful than someone who is miserable.

As I sat with this piece, I felt inspired to do something new with you, my newsletter subscribers. (If you are reading this online, this spontaneity is an incentive to become a newsletter subscriber. You never know what will come to your email inbox when you do!)

Thousands of you get my newsletter. Some of you have become coaching clients, taken a class, or come to Buenos Aires to learn tango with me. And there are so many of you I don’t know yet. 

I want to help more of you live turned-on lives regardless of your age. 

I am giving away 3 45-minute FREE “It’s Not Over Yet” coaching sessions to the next three people who reach out and fill out this form in the next 48 hours. 

Fill out this form by Friday at noon to be eligible for one of these three lucky spots. Tell me about you and what you would want to focus on.

If you “win” (who doesn’t like “winning”?”) you will get a chance to talk with me as a sounding board to get clear about what you want to live at this stage of your life, uninhibited by what other people think is possible.

Getting clear is the first step! When you know what you want, you can let it unfold.

We will also discover action steps for you to take after our call. People typically say they feel motivated to take action after they talk with me.

We may take a body-centered transformation approach if that speaks to you. You may get a personalized pussywalking lesson to help you connect with your body’s wisdom. I am a champion at teaching pussywalking because I invented it! It’s the second word I have formally invented, after “quirkyalone.” 

Fill out this form in the next 48 hours by noon, Friday, May 31, and you might “WIN” as one of the three lucky spots. 

Looking forward to meeting the lucky three of you!!! I will be lucky too 🙂

xo,

Sasha

 

Overheard in Bali at the Yoga Barn: “I would rather go home and use my yoni egg”

Overheard in Bali at the Yoga Barn: “I would rather go home and use my yoni egg”

 

in Bali

I was sitting at the cafe in the Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali, almost a small college campus of yoga and spirituality when I overheard three women talking.

“Then she said, I would rather go home and use my yoni egg at the end of the acro-yoga class. She said we need to normalize it. Just talk about it.”

I smiled to myself and knew I would have to join this conversation.

Yoni eggs, if you are not aware, are egg-shaped stones that women insert in their vaginal canals to help increase blood flow, tone, and sensation in the pelvic floor muscles for their well-being. There’s a debate about whether yoni eggs are safe to use, and I actually do have an opinion, but I’m not going to wade into that controversy now. Because that’s not the point of this blog post, and really, their conversation was more about the boldness of using the term “yoni egg” in casual conversation more than it was about the practice itself. That’s what I’m most interested in writing about too: the language.

“I teach about that,” I interjected from across the table. We were sitting on loungey, couch-like things. Yoga Barn is a place where it’s easy to strike up conversations with strangers. It’s probably one of the places in the world where you are most likely to overhear people talking about “yoni eggs.”

“What do you teach?” one of the women asked.

“I teach pussywalking,” I said, and let that bomb drop. Using the word “pussy” in casual conversation is probably even more radical than talking about yoni eggs, but now that I have been teaching pussywalking for ten years I have gotten accustomed to the joy of letting the shock of the word set in on people’s faces.

“What’s pussywalking?” two of them asked at once.

I explained that I teach women, and now even men sometimes actually, to connect with their bodies through breath and other awareness practices to source their personal power, energy, and confidence from the pelvic region of their bodies. I talked about the tremendous sensitivity of the internal clitoris that exists inside our bodies, beyond the little external dot that we are taught to think of as the clit. I explained that the pussy can be a hidden source of power. And of course, even using the word “pussy” can be transformative.

In the last round of Turned-On Living, my yearlong group coaching program (adventure), getting over the taboo of saying the word itself was a huge conversation among the women. One of the women in the group even practiced by writing the word “pussy” more than fifty times on a small piece of paper and posted it to our Whatsapp group. The image was so funny and cute.

When I was growing up, the only time I heard the p-word was when young men in Camaros shouted the word out to us young women on the streets of Providence. The p-word was some kind of bizarre insult. Of course, it’s meant to convey weakness, when the truth is the opposite: our pussies are quite strong.

Actually, I like the p-word. It’s cute and cuddly and funny, unlike the c-word. I only got to this level of comfort of reclaiming “pussy” after years of immersion in female sexuality workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area where others used it and normalized it for me. Getting used to saying it out loud was a process that took time, just like it was for the women in Turned-On Living.

There are a lot of hidden benefits of getting comfortable with using taboo language and talking about our sexuality and sexual energy. When you get into bed with someone, you can be more comfortable with talking about your body. You an also more easily talk about sex (and bodies) with other women.

In Turned-On Living, we talk about “pussy energy” and practice pussywalking for an entire year while I bring together all I know about empowering yourself as a woman in this world. Along the ride, we get really good at talking about our “pussies.”

I interviewed each woman at the end of the year to find out what was most transformative for each of them. One of them told me that using the word many times over the year helped her find her voice in general, in relationships with men, with setting boundaries, with talking about what she wants and likes and what she doesn’t.

Here’s some of what she shared with me: “As a Gen X person, I grew up and became sexually mature at a time when consent was not a part of the landscape. Our bodies were dirty and dangerous. That was the underlying message of society’s narrative. The way to stay safe was to cover up our bodies and shut them down, and then turn them back on, on-demand, to please and tend to the needs of men in socially sanctioned sexual relationships. That led to disconnection from the tender, vulnerable parts of my body.  

Pussywalking has stimulated my dormant body awareness, much like a body scan does, and gives me agency over my body and female genitals. Embodiment is so big and so new for me (the journey began before Turned-On Living) that I don’t know how or what to articulate about it.

But I can say this: normalizing that I do have a pussy, and there’s energy there, is big for me. I mean, I’ve had a great sex life. Been there, done that. It’s been wonderful. But I think underneath that early social conditioning, that it’s dirty, and unsafe, and you need to lock it up and hide it away. Because that’s what we heard: ‘You’re gonna have your period. You’re going to get pregnant. You’re going to get an STD.’ There’s never anything positive said about the pussy. So I think this was a space where so much positive was said about the pussy, like, “Take a moment get in touch with your pussy.” Oh my gosh, I’m thinking about my pussy right now and saying that out loud to other women. Wow. So yeah, it’s almost indelible, I almost can’t articulate the power of it.”

Yes, reclaiming this language is big–which is why those women were talking about using the word “yoni egg” out loud and why I am talking to you about reclaiming the p-word.

 

 

I’m in Bali for the next two months focused on a creative project. In between this deep dive into my writing, talking with my 1:1 clients, and doing Kundalini yoga, I am forming the new special group of women who will be part of the next Turned-On Living cohort. We start in June and go for a year. We meet once for a soul-commitment ceremony retreat. The max group size is ten, so the experience is intimate. You learn what I have learned about female empowerment in order to create the life you want, by connecting with your body. The intimacy (and my unique teachings) make the group special.

I will do a Zoom session sometime soon from my place in Bali to talk you through the curriculum so you can find out about what you’ll learn in the community experience of Turned-On Living. Be sure you are on my newsletter list if you want to be invited.

If you are feeling called to Turned-On Living, you can write me and request a copy of the curriculum. I talk with each person to form the right chemistry in the group: like-minded women with a shared goal of living a turned-on life.

Curious? Tell me more about you and what draws you to Turned-On Living when you fill out this simple form.

 

Connecting with Your Body: The Surprising Way to Channel Your Most Brilliant Self

Alert fellow lovers of exploring body-mind connection!

We talk about getting out of our heads and into our bodies….but why? Why is that important?

On Friday, September 16 at 2 pm, I am giving a keynote address at the Providence, RI Women’s Business Summit with my own answer to that question.

I’ll be talking about “Connecting with Your Body: The Surprising Way to Channel Your Most Brilliant Self.”

Since the pandemic, so many of us are feeling disconnected from our bodies in these long days staring straight ahead at screens… we start to feel lifeless, even trapped in our chairs.

So how can connecting with your body (aka methods such as @p_ssywalking) help with your confidence for a job interview or a dating event? Or figuring out the next move in your career? Or simply to feel alive?

I will be talking about how I use body connection in my own career and personal life and how my clients do too.

This Friday 2 pm event is free. The link to sign up is HERE, so come join us.

I will be the first speaker among some other interesting women, including a professor from Brown University who will be talking about life as a roller coaster. Yes.

The event will be recorded so we will share the video with you later!

Any questions, put them in the comments. Hope to see you there!

Your Pussywalking Experiences…Share Them Here For My Research

Pussywalking is a sexual energy-mindfulness technique that I created to help women center their awareness in their pelvic region, and then observe the difference this simple shift makes in their posture, energy and mood as they walk. It’s not about turning you into a sex object, it’s about turning you into a sexual subject who is in touch with your own body as a source of renewable energy and confidence.

It’s the PURRRFECT approach to women’s empowerment.

I am looking to create a body of stories about what is possible when women put their awareness “down there” as they walk. I have heard so many fascinating stories from my clients and students, ranging from the cosmic to the hilarious.

Female sexuality as a whole is so woefully underresearched, so simply talking about what happens when we mindfully connect with our internal anatomy is ground-breaking and revolutionary. We can literally teach each other what is possible by mapping our stories. So I wanted to create a structured way for you to share your pussywalking experiences with me for my research.

Have you been practicing pussywalking, for a day or a year? Has anything interesting, amusing, or extraordinary happened to you as a result? This could be about the way you felt inside as you practiced your pussywalk, and what it spurred in you, or about how others responded to you.

If so, please head over here to this Google Form and share your story.

Nothing will be shared publicly without your permission, so you are safe telling the truth, the full truth, and nothing but the truth of it! Can’t wait to read your stories.

Pussywalking… a talk at PechaKucha Providence

On stage at PechaKucha Providence, sharing my vision: a world where women are powerful because we are connected to our bodies

Oooooh, I’m excited to share my #pechakucha talk in #Providence on #pussywalking! The formal title: “Pussywalking: What it is, why it matters, and how you can practice it too.”

If you are new to Pussywalking, this is a simple way for you to tap into your sexual energy for a confidence boost at any time, in any context. Pussywalking is a method that I have been developing for the last ten years and sharing in my workshops and with clients. Any woman of any age can do it. All you have to do is activate your energy through your awareness.

You can watch on YouTube for a higher quality video, or on Instagram to also see the screens that I presented.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Sasha Cagen (@sashacagen)

In this talk, I admitted to being scared. This was the biggest crowd I have shared pussywalking with, and to give this talk in Rhode Island where I grew up felt both exhilarating and terrifying. I’ve always felt there is a kind of hostility  toward sexuality and sexual energy in Southern New England, the area where I grew up. Maybe it’s the memories of all the young men who yelled “pussy” out the window of their Camaros at me and my friends when we were young, going out for the night in Providence, or maybe it’s the ghost of the Puritans, or the witch-burnings, still hanging out in the architecture.

On the other hand, I’ve always known since I moved back to New England in 2020 that eventually I would share my message of empowerment through connecting with our bodies and sexual energy in this part of the world, where people need it even more than in California or Buenos Aires (the two places where I spent most of my adult life, until now). And indeed, the experience of giving this talk was amazing. The people in Providence are pussywalking-ready! You can tell by the crowd’s reaction.
I loved sharing my vision: a world where women are more powerful because we are connected to our bodies from the inside out.

I would love to keep going giving pussywalking talks. I am ready for the TED stage now. Are you a TED organizer or do you have another event where I could spread the gospel? Let me know.

At the end of the talk, I put out a call for scientific collaborators to study the effects of pussywalking on women’s posture, confidence and well-being. I am serious about this. Just as Wim Hof has found scientific researchers to study the effects of his breathing and cold-water exposure methods, I think it’s time for study of the effects of what happens when women activate the sexual energy in their bodies as they walk.

Do you know anyone in psychology or neuroscience who might want to partner with me? Reach out here.

And let me know what you think about the talk in the comments!

Creating the World We Want to Live In, One Small Space at a Time, Post-Roe

My phone has been blowing up with texts since Friday afternoon when the news came out about the US Supreme Court overturning Roe, and I suspect yours has been too.

Here are some of the texts I have gotten over the last two days:

“hi thinking of you today, hope you’re hanging in there as world events implode”

“Numb, sad, angry over here. Anyone need anything?”

“Also furious and had a good cry last night”

“Sasha, have you heard the terrible news about Roe? I want to scream at the top of my lungs.”

“Our foremothers gave us Roe with their blood, sweat, and tears. They wanted it to be our birthright.”

“Hi. Hope you are ok. This is horseshit.”

Yup. This is horseshit. Two months ago when the draft of the Roe opinion by Alito was leaked, I wrote this blog post, “I’m feeling numb, how are you doing?” 

Now that the actual opinion has come down, I feel more angry than numb. How about you? I think that’s how it works with feelings. We have to feel each and every one of them to get to the next one.

I heard something beautiful on the radio this weekend from Jenny Slate, an actor and comedian being interviewed on NPR about her new film, “Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.” She said, “…as a creative person that, you know, it’s heartbreaking and terrifying what the Supreme Court has decided. A lot of artists say, you know, you have to create the world that you want to live in.”

We do have to create the world we want to live in, and that’s what I am going to be doing over here – inviting you all to join me in creating the world we want to live in.

I also was moved by something that Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez shared in an email from her Instagram. She was asked about hope, and the very simple, wonderfully blunt question, “Are we screwed?”

She wrote something so beautiful and true in response that I want to share it here.

“My honest view is that things are likely to get harder before they get better, and we will need to stick together.

What is important in moments like these is not to think in binaries. Good/bad, screwed/not screwed. There is no doubt that things are bad. Some things, really bad. And they may likely get worse. But that does not preclude the fact that slowly but surely, some good can be growing as other things fall apart. This is not some syrupy, sweet silver-lining case for optimism. Rather, it is about a choice all of us have to make in life, either consciously or unconsciously: will I be a person who is safe and creates good for others? Will I be a person who stands up? Will I be a person who primarily minds my own business and serves myself or try to be part of something bigger? Or will I be just a passive, “neutral” observer of it all?

What I sometimes tell my staff is that the world we are fighting for is already here. It exists in small spaces, places, and communities. We don’t have to deal with the insurmountable problem of coming up with novel solutions to all the world’s problems. Much of our work is about scaling existing solutions, many created by small, committed groups of people, that others haven’t seen or don’t even know are around the corner.

So while we can’t change the world in a day, we CAN and do have the power to make our own world without our four walls, or our own blocks. We can grow from there with the faith that somewhere out there, everywhere, others are doing the same.”

I decided to take the teaching of pussywalking online after I worked through my own feelings of numbness, because I knew that this day was coming, and that seemed like a contribution I could make to others if I could break through my own fears of teaching such a taboo thing to a larger group of women around the world.

I definitely don’t want to appear to be using this tragedy as a marketing opportunity, but in fact, the truth is that the anticipation of finding ourselves in this unthinkable moment is what pushed me to bring the teaching of pussywalking online to reach more women. I really believe these workshops can be one of the small spaces that AOC is talking about that can empower us to do good in our own lives and to make this world a better place.

The patriarchy does not want women to control their bodies or prioritize their own pleasure. It is precisely this trinity of power, pleasure, and the female body that the mostly old white men on the Supreme Court, and the patriarchy in general, are so afraid of. It’s the subtext beneath overturning Roe. Our connection with our own pleasure, even subtle pleasure, is a source of power. Reclaiming our bodies, and our joy, helps us to physically engage with the world.

We are doing the first live, online pussywalking workshop Tuesday night.

If you would like to join us, there are a few spots left. No one will be turned away for lack of funds, so if you can’t afford the cost, and want to come, then send an email.

And, it’s just good to be in the company of other women right now. And men, thanks for supporting us. This is not just a woman’s issue. Obviously pregnancy itself takes place because of the participation of men, and women.

Here is the link to sign up.

Hope to see you there!

P.S. I also got this beautiful text message from a European reader:

“I read the news on Facebook. Women’s rights on abortion have gone [in the US]. But we are Diana, Artemis, Venus, and Penelope. We have to fight for a better world.”

Getting Real on “Spinsterhood Reimagined with Lucy Meggeson” (New Podcast Interview)

Lucy Meggeson who lives across the pond in the UK, who is great and hilarious, and who is definitely my kind of woman (I bet we could be BFFs if we lived in the same city), interviewed me for her new podcast Spinsterhood Reimagined.

Here’s the description: “Are you single, childfree, and tired of the stigma attached to your ‘spinster’ status? Are you actually having an awesome time, loving your life because of the freedoms afforded to you as a result of being alone and not having kids? Or are you not quite there yet? Either way, this is for you.”

Lucy’s mission is to help other women who happen to be single and childfree know their own value, and that their lives are just as meaningful as anyone else’s. Knowing that working with single women has been a focus of my coaching practice, she asked me all kinds of juicy questions. Because she made me feel so comfortable, I told her the truth, the whole truth! I so suggest that you give this one a listen!

Lucy asked about:

  • The best part of being single, even when it’s not your first choice
  • How I finally found peace in not becoming a mother, and appreciate my life on its own terms, after years of struggle with that topic
  • My own relationship history: quirkyalone and quirkytogether. I am known for celebrating singledom but I’ve actually always been pretty relationship-oriented! In this episode we talk about women who want to be quirkyalone, women who have always been in relationship and haven’t paid as much attention to their own needs and desires, and how I help them get clear about what they really want in relationships and life, and live fully.
  • How I used to be embarrassed to call myself a life coach, but not I’m embarrassed by it anymore now that coaching has grown and gotten more respect, and more people are wising up to the value of hiring a coach
  • How I draw on tango and physical mindfulness practices like pussywalking to help my clients step into their power at work and in relationships, and become the women they want to be
  • The power of listening to your body (and developing your sensuality) to make better decisions and change your life

We had so much fun recording this episode, and we hope you enjoy it! Let us know what you think in the comments, and be sure to leave Lucy’s podcast a review if you like it.

Here’s a funny little promo Lucy made for the episode. Lucy used to be an audio engineer at the BBC. Can you tell?

These Ladies Are Showing Us the International Symbol for Pussywalking

ladies showing pussywalking symbol after a workshop with sasha cagen

These ladies (representing four countries, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina and the U.S.) are showing us the international symbol for pussywalking after attending a pussywalking workshop with Sasha in Buenos Aires.

The next Pussywalking Workshops will be held October 18-20 and November 15-17 at the Tango in Paradise weekends just outside of Buenos Aires — only for those doing the Solo Chica Tango Adventure! Want to come learn pussywalking with me in person? That’s the way in 2019!

Don’t know about pussywalking yet? You have to check out the videos and sign up for the special pussywalking newsletter for further instructions!