Hey there, happy Sunday!

Today I wanted to share this gem with you.

YDB.

A friend told me about YDB. I am not sure of the origin of this wisdom, but it’s too good to not share.

This is for all of you who are struggling with an ex, a break-up, an RO (romantic obsession).


I know how hard it can be to get over people especially when you have opened your heart after it’s been closed for a while–and allowed yourself to believe in love again.

It didn’t work out. And your heart hurts. You can’t believe how long you are thinking about this person and what you once shared.

Here’s what you do. You tap into the power of YDB.

What does YDB mean?

You Dumb Bastard?

Yucky Discolored Box Syndrome? (Yes, this exists on the Internet. It has something to do with Adobe.)

No.

It means YOU DESERVE BETTER!

So go ahead and write the acronym YDB before his or her name in your phone contacts list, if she or he is still in there. Or emblazon YDB before their name in your mind. YDB Mark. YDB Carlos. YDB Francesca. Change their name to YDB-their name for as long as you need to.

Maybe it feels like a leap to believe that there is someone out there for you who will be a better match for you. Well, in the meantime, you also deserve better than torturing yourself with thoughts about someone who doesn’t want to be with you anyway.

Whenever we are trying to change our experience, we are working on changing our thoughts. That process typically doesn’t happen overnight. Choosing new thoughts on purpose is a practice. It’s like going to the gym and lifting weights. The strength to choose new thoughts comes because you are consistently choosing differently.

So whenever that person comes to mind, you repeat YDB.

By brute force we start to believe that new thought.

Put it in your phone or in your journal or on a sticky note on your refrigerator.

YDB.

5 Comments

  1. Chrissy

    I like that adding YDB first also puts their name at the end of your contacts list.

    Reply
    • Sasha Cagen

      TRUE!

      Reply
    • Paige

      Ha ha!!! Great!!

      Reply
  2. Chris F

    YDB good IDB works for me.It was so easy for me to idealize the physical attributes of my prior boyfriend while overlooking his badly flawed character. I am better able now to spend time assessing a man’s integrity

    Reply
    • Sasha Cagen

      IDB is also great. It’s a powerful moment when we confront what we have been settling for and get clear on what we really want and deserve. Congrats on that shift Chris.

      Reply

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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

At work on a memoir called Wet, about adventures in healing through sensuality.

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