10 Quirkytogether Relationships From Around the World

by | Jul 8, 2013 | Advice | 1 comment

Sue, my co-teacher in Quirkytogether 101, and her QT beau

Sue, my co-teacher in Quirkytogether 101, and her QT beau

What does it look like for you to show up as your quirkyself in a relationship–you, all your quirks and dreams and all?

I’m teaching a new weeklong class called Quirkytogether 101 and that’s what we’ll be talking about. Click HERE to find out more about the class and join us!

What does “quirkytogether” mean to you? I’ve been asking people that in my survey. I share these definitions from people in India, Germany, El Salvador, the US, the UK, and Canada to inspire you. These people are all thought leaders in the quirkyalone movement showing us what quirkytogether can look like!

The main theme I’m seeing so far in my research is that quirkytogether relationships allow us to expand and get bigger in our individual selves, rather than contract and get smaller, which is the story we hear so often about people losing themselves in relationships where when it’s done people say, “I want to be me again.”

So what does that really look like in the real world. . .

From India and Germany to El Salvador and Canada and the U.S., here are ten definitions of quirkytogether

1. “The relationship felt like it was a quirkytogether…mostly because we egged each other on to be better, career-wise and life-wise.”–Kavita Gonsalves, a thirtysomething single woman, Mumbai, India

2. “Not being afraid to just be ‘me.’ At this age, just dating after the loss of my husband, I have no need to be anything but my weird and wonderful self.”–Fiftysomething woman who’s dating, Michigan, U.S.

3. “To find someone quirky and confident and beautiful who will find me equally beautiful in my quirkyness. (I’ve always used the terms weird and weirdos.)”–David, twentysomething man in an open relationship, California, U.S.

4. “Two mismatched socks with their own vibrant patterns finding and completing each other. They are individuals who don’t blend in with the rest of the beige socks. In real terms, two people who march to their own drummer and don’t want to give up their own rhythm in life. I liked being solo. I was not going to settle down if it meant me sacrificing what is essentially me. My husband is different too. He allows me to bloom instead of wither. This is a challenge to face as I’m a mommy of two small children. Keeping identity paramount!“–Married woman, 39, Georgia, U.S.

5. “Does not follow the beaten path. May raise some eyebrows.”–Single and dating woman in her late sixties, Bavaria, Germany

6. “My partner and I have an ability to be ‘alone together.’ We like to be in each other’s company all the time, but we aren’t necessarily interacting, we are each pursuing our own interests. When we do come together to share an activity, it usually relates to our shared passions, although we are each very supportive of the other’s separate pursuits. We have no blended identity per se, we believe 1 + 1 = 2.”–Miranda Criger, fortysomething woman in a committed relationship, California, U.S.

7. “A beautiful way for quirkyalones to evolve. It’s about going beyond the comfort with singledom that comes with being quirkyalone and achieving a deeper love of self that can blossom into a deeply loving relationship with another equally self-realized soul. Quirkytogether bonds are formed between two individuals who are unconditionally themselves, and who love and accept themselves so deeply that they are able to experience love with another soul that is rooted in compassion, acceptance, and understanding.”–Twentysomething single woman, Montreal, Canada

8. “For me, quirkytogether is about being oneself, allowing the other person to do what they want to do. He’s a musician, I’m a painter, I have a dayjob and a hundred other commitments, he was in and out of work. I saw a volunteering placement in a completely different country that I thought would be right for him and he went for it. A lot of our friends were taken aback and thought that it meant that we weren’t committed to each other, because I was happy to be apart for a year. I think the support that it takes to be apart from each other to pursue better things and therefore be ourselves, makes it a much better relationship.”–Twentysomething woman in a committed relationship, South Yorkshire, UK

9. “A relationship where both parties can be true to themselves. I have a ‘quirkytogether’ relationship with one of my best friends, we just get each other. When others are scratching their heads we see the path and encourage each other. It’s not that she is more important to me as a friend, it just feels so different! I would like to have a quirkytogether romantic relationship!”–Thirtysomething single and dating woman, Devon, England

10. “In a quirkytogether relationship you accept a person, quirks and all. This does not mean you agree with the fact that they leave the toilet seat up, but you understand and engage in open, honest conversation about even the simplest of things.”–Twentysomething single woman, Ohio, U.S.

Here are three more, I said ten definitions, but I can’t hold back from sharing three more good ones with you!

11. “A lot of what makes me attractive, what I consider my quirky spirit, can be easily subsumed to the demands of coupledom. Quirkytogether is the relationship I aspire to have because I can stay me.”–Emily Miller, twentysomething single woman, Pennsylvania, U.S.

12. “Quirkytogether to me means coexisting with another quirkyalone, appreciating each other and all the little things that make us who we are. Walking beside someone because we want to, not because of any outer forces that might make us do so.”–Elisa, twentysomething single woman, San Salvador, El Salvador

13. “Quirkytogether means we can be as weird and geeky as we want. It also means we can do things apart. I got really lucky and found an amazing partner who has done a great deal of work on herself. For years I was single and uncompromised about it and it was worth the wait.”–Dominika Bednarska, thirtysomething woman in a committed relationship, California, U.S.

I love reading how other people interpret quirkytogether.

In our online Quirkytogether 101 class this summer, we’re going to dive deeper into the essence of quirkytogether. You compromise in a relationship, but you never compromise who you are.

It’s going to be an awesome weeklong learning and growth experience and you can participate from anywhere, that’s the beauty of the Internet. If you join us, you’ll have a very real interactive learning experience of discovering what quirkytogether looks like for you and getting inspired by others along this path.

CLICK HERE to find out more about the class and join us!

Looking forward to getting quirkytogether with you!
Sasha Cagen

1 Comment

  1. Sue Vittner

    Sasha, I love reading all of the quirkytogether definitions from all over the world! It is so inspiring to realize we can live together with a partner while maintaining our independence and unique spark for life. So looking forward to everyone’s sharing and exploring together in this class.


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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

At work on a memoir called Wet, about adventures in healing through sensuality.

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