Healing The Shame of Long-Term Singlehood

by | Apr 17, 2014 | Advice, Single Shame | 0 comments

You don’t want anyone to know the truth about you.

So you hide it.

You don’t want anyone to know about your lack of long-term relationship experience. Or that you have been single x years. Or your whole life. So you keep this to yourself and build up a wall between you and the people you date. Or you don’t date at all. As one quirkyalone woman I spoke with recently put it, the shame about long-term singlehood can be like shame about long-term unemployment. This shame can keep you out of the game of connecting.

This is the shame of long-term singlehood. Or put more succinctly, this is single shame.

Here’s the surprise—what I have discovered as a quirkyalone and as a coach. It’s not actually being single or not having had a long-term relationship that is the problem, it’s the sense that there is something deeply, unnameably wrong with you because you have not had that long-term relationship experience that makes you think you can’t have one.

Whatever was dividing you, causing the distance, was not the thing itself but the shame around that thing. And as soon as the shame is spoken, it starts to dissolve.

For the second monthly quirky chat, we’ll be diving directly into the topic of single shame and how to let go of this toxic sludge emotion so you can connect with a date–and yourself. I chose this topic of single shame because in my quirkyalone coaching practice, I see it as the number one thing that holds people back from dating and feeling confident and at peace.

If feeling bad about being single is holding you back in any way in life, you need to join us for this chat!

Join us for this very open, honest conversation that in and of itself will be healing.

My guest will be Sara Eckel, author of It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single.

How does a monthly quirky chat work? You will be able to see me and Sara chat live, and you can ask questions in a chat window. You can watch the recording later, but we’d love to have you live.

How to join us:
1) Put Quirky Chat on your calendar now so you can join us: Wednesday, April 23, 5 pm PT//8 pm ET
2) Click here to RSVP
3) Join us next week live with your questions!


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Hi! I’m Sasha

Executive and Life Coach on a mission to help women connect with their bodies to pursue their truest desires in the bedroom and the world.

Author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (HarperCollins) + To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster).

At work on a memoir called Wet, about adventures in healing through sensuality.

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