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Would you like to get support to go after what you want in your life? Coaching is a way to help you identify what you want, and to go for it. I’m experimenting with a new adventure in coaching. We’re going to create a game based on your own life.

As part of this new adventure, I am sponsoring a contest. Three lucky souls who want to grow and support others in their growth will get to play.

I am a born-again minimalist. During my year-plus in South America (and Europe) I lived out of a small black backpack. I loved having so few possessions. Just a few outfits, a tiny netbook, a camera, a nightgown, and reading materials on my iPhone. Now that I am back in the States, I am on a continual stuff diet. I want only books that feel current, shampoo that doesn’t make my hair frizzy, clothes I wear and love, towels that feel good. Losing stuff is like losing weight. It’s a long-term process.

Today is the official day to celebration singledom in Brazil. ! I found out when a Brazilian Facebook friend posted a photo of himself cooking alone and called it his “Feliz Dia dos Solteiros” photo! I spent six months of 2010 in Brazil and can testify that there is a growing consciousness among young men and women who prefer to be single rather than settle for a lackluster (or untrustworthy) relationship. Brazilians are also driven by passion and that fits with the quirkyalone penchant for passionate relationships. My book was released in Brazil. Here is the r account which has inspirational tidbits from my book Quirkyalone in Portuguese. Love.

My Portuguese language teachers, me, and my fellow student, enjoying our very own SoSingular

My friend Laura informed me that South Korea has a National Singles Day too on June 14. Single people get together on “” to eat noodles with black bean sauce.

I am training to be a . It’s an honor to help people go down a path of honesty about what they really want to create in their lives and then help them go for it. I love coaching others. Any coach will tell you that the most important part of the training is the work that you do on yourself. We can only share (and embody) the approaches that resonate with us. So I have been on a wild ride lately, examining my own limiting beliefs, looking more closely at what I want in my life, and even, what is my unique life purpose (I have many thoughts on that whole concept, to be shared in a later post).

A few weeks ago my wonderful peer coach from the program was coaching me on the phone. We were talking about my life (my career; relationships; whether I will have a child). I broke down in tears and said something to the effect of, “I can’t believe I don’t have it all figured out yet.” I have published books and a magazine, started a company, traveled extensively, and despite all that, I sometimes feel like I am at the beginning again with a blank slate. There is so much uncertainty in my life, so many paths that can be taken (or not taken). I get the feeling that from the outside I look strong and sure, but I often feel small and confused. Like a child. Breaking down in tears to my peer coach felt potent and real.

Later that weekend I snuggled on the couch rereading an old favorite book: buy generic cialis online uk(Harper Collins, 1992). I stumbled on a perfect passage to clarify why admitting that I don’t have it figured out–that I feel like a child–actually felt very pressure-relieving.

Sometimes you hear adults in their thirties and forties say lightheartedly, “I still don’t know what I’m going to be when I grow up.” No matter how lightly this common sentiment is stated, the feeling is full of inferiority. What’s wrong with me? I should be a success by now. I should be making plent of money. I should be settled. But in spite of these wishes, the sense of the child who is not yet ready for success and settling is strong. This recognition can be a soulful moment. It bears a melancholic tone that is a signal of soul reflecting on its fate and wondering about its future. It is a potential opening to imagination, and to some extent this is the power of the child. The child’s smallness and inadequacy is the “open sesame” to a future and to the unfolding of possibility.

For those who ask, where are the men in the quirkyalone movement? Here’s a gorgeous, moving movie featuring a male quirkyalone lead (Ewan McGregor, beautifully vulnerable in the movie himself). weaves together two big qs: quirkyaloneness and queerness.

Oliver is 38 and has spent the last few years caring for his father who announced he was gay after Oliver’s mother died. The movie flashes back to Oliver’s childhood throughout the film. Oliver never believed his parents were really in love, and consequently never really fully believed in love for himself.

You could say it’s a fear-of-commitment story, but that would be too simple a shorthand. Oliver is afraid of slipping into a passionless domesticity driven by the model that he saw growing up. The mother figure is tragic: so bursting with life and quirkyness, but she was never going to get the passion she wanted from her husband (and she knew he was gay). I loved the scene where Ewan and his new love recognize each other as “the same”–both leavers. This is no romantic comedy with an easy resolution. We get to see Oliver and Anna in love, and at the same time, riding out hard moments, battling out their sense that “this is not the way I was supposed to feel.” And if it’s not the way it was “supposed to feel” in the moment, does that mean end it? Deliciously real. See it!

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